Evolution of the Master Plan & Tiny Steps in the Right Direction

I came up with my genius plan with the held of my beloved. While watching Top Gear with my dearly beloved I mentioned how much I wanted to be in the reasonably priced car. He told me to hurry up and get famous. It’s something he recommends quite often; the man has a master plan of his own: to see out his days as a kept husband raising hypothetical children. Although I am aware of the cunning strategy and his ulterior motives behind his special brand of encouragement, one has to admit the man has a point. And as I cannot sing, dance or impersonate, there is little else to do than be a writer. Hours later the first words were down and my plan in action.

With one minor catch.
Writing books is not the problem. I have written books before. There are two perfectly alright manuscripts stashed in the modern-day-desk-drawer of a laptop, which I have failed to sell. Mainly because I am lazy about it. Both manuscripts have been sent away, once and twice respectively. It’s a lame effort, but I guess I’m just really good at justifying my laziness in the publishing department with the fairly legitimate problem of getting a publishing house to look at an unsolicited manuscript. It’s almost impossible. So, to safe my book – my wonderful, reasonably-priced-car-worthy work of blood, sweat and tears – from the same fate, I decided I would get myself an agent. Once I work out how to get one. Which is in itself a minor catch.

When I was at uni, the gloating published authors who came in as guest speakers and tried not to gloat about being everything we wanted to be; they always made out that getting a book published is all a matter of networking. I am no good at networking. It shall be the first thing I will learn – and here I am, networking with all the good people of the internet.

Luckily, the day after I make my decision fate chances I am dispatched to the perfect place to improve my networking skills. I am attending a three day conference on internet gambling. In fact I’m taking the first notes of my project while attending the conference lectures. What better place to learn the art of networking? I get to meet all manner of freaks and forge contacts in the online gambling industry.

That’s where I work at the moment – the cyber dungeon that is the world of Australian online gambling portals. It’s none too bad, as long as you don’t think about what it is you are actually doing. Apparently, so one of my colleagues says, my wages are getting paid out of the losses sustained by the poor sods who fall victim to our affiliate bookmakers (my boss is probably reading this and soon it will be time for me to pack my bags…). I profit from the gambled away uni funds of Blackjack addicts’ children. My dinner is paid for by someone else’s lunch money. I’m sure Satan and his minions have some special treats in store for me. But as amoral and useless as my job is, it beats waiting tables. If you really put your mind to it you can even view it was a step in the right direction. I write and it pays the rent.
It may be all about the wonders of horse racing in the United Kingdom – as opposed to living off the royalties of the quintessential 21st century novel – but it is writing nonetheless. Which is why right now, at this conference, while a man from Milwaukee informs me that Google changes its algorithm (whatever this may be) 350 times a year; I am not having a panic attack and an early onset of depression, but rather feel determined to be hopeful.